i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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