You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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