I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
