even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
