I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His nipple licking is glorious
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