If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
