she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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