I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
