fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
