things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
