just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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