That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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