just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
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Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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