he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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