If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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