I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
