Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize