I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
a search helicopter?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
