Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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