all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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