My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?