I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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