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Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
