i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just had sex on a roof
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
