Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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