East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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