Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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