Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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