i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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