okay pat passed out under dana's car
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.