Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober