i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
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We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.