THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.