Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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