You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
