Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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