guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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