I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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