i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
