my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
