I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize