i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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