Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
