either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
