don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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