I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
