i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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