Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
