i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize