U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
