I didn't shave. On purpose
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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