I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
