they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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