I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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