I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
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I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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