I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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