He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize