i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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