so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
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That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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