she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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