She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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