U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize