FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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